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Teenager Jokes.

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Teenager Jokes.

Postby spindo » Sun Feb 16, 2014 10:47 pm

Hello, welcome to this new topic, it is about teenager jokes.
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Re: Teenager Jokes.

Postby spindo » Sun Feb 16, 2014 10:48 pm

A school recieves a telephone call. “Hello,” says the principal. “My daughter won’t be in school today,” says the voice. “May I ask who this is?” asked the principal. “This is my mother speaking.”
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Re: Teenager Jokes.

Postby spindo » Sun Feb 16, 2014 10:59 pm

Teacher: Where is your math homework?
Me: It committed suicide, had too many problems.
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Re: Teenager Jokes.

Postby casablanca » Mon Feb 17, 2014 3:21 pm

Nervous Dad Joke

“Just relax”, the hospital staff kept telling Jim, but it was to no avail. Jim’s wife was in labor and Jim was a nervous wreck.
After what seemed like a week, to both Jim and the hospital staff, a nurse came out with the happy news, “it’s a girl”, she cried.

“Thank G-d, a girl”, said Jim, “at least she won’t have to go through what I just went through!” :mrgreen:
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Re: Teenager Jokes.

Postby casablanca » Mon Feb 17, 2014 3:23 pm

Ten Things I know about you

1) You are reading this.
2) You are human.
3) You can’t say the letter ”P” without separating your lips.
4) You just attempted to do it.
6) You are laughing at yourself.
7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.
8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.
9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.
10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.

:lol:
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Re: Teenager Jokes.

Postby spindo » Wed Jul 30, 2014 6:09 pm

GOOD - CHEAP - FAST
You pick any two!

GOOD and CHEAP won't be FAST
GOOD and FAST won't be CHEAP
CHEAP and FAST won't be GOOD
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Re: Teenager Jokes.

Postby spindo » Wed Jul 30, 2014 6:10 pm

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.

"Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.

"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"

"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"

"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"
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Re: Teenager Jokes.

Postby spindo » Sun Aug 03, 2014 12:54 am

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it.” A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said, “Son, I’m real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you’ve studied your Bible diligently, but you didn’t get hair cut!” The young man waited a moment and replied, “You know Dad, I’ve been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair.” His father replied, “Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!”
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Re: Teenager Jokes.

Postby spindo » Sun Aug 03, 2014 12:59 am

A Teenager is...

A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number.

A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.

A youngster who receives his/her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows from his/her best friend on Wednesday.

Someone who can hear a song by Madonna played three blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.

A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't make a bed.

A student who will spend 12 minutes studying for her history exam and 12 hours for her driver's license.

A youngster who is well informed about anything he doesn't have to study.

An enthusiast who has the energy to ride a bike for miles, but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.

A connoisseur of two kinds of fine music: Loud and Very Loud.

A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates her brother.

A person who is always late for dinner but always on time for a rock concert.

A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.

A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.

A boy who can sleep until noon on any Saturday when he suspects the lawn needs mowing.

An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager.
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Re: Teenager Jokes.

Postby spindo » Sat Aug 16, 2014 12:06 am

The Boss

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ''How much is the yellow one?''
The assistant says, ''$2000.'' The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, ''This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.''
''What about the green one?'' the man asks.
The assistant says, ''He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.''
''What about the red one?'' the man asks.
The assistant says, ''That one's $10,000.''
The man says, ''What does HE do?''
The assistant says, ''I don't know, but the other two call him boss.''
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