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Short funny Jokes

Postby silentnite » Tue Dec 06, 2011 3:59 pm

Glad to be drunk
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
Last edited by silentnite on Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Short funny Jokes

Postby silentnite » Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:22 pm

Men Jokes

A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

A man didn't come home 1 night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house. The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there!!
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Re: Short funny Jokes

Postby chimlacloai » Thu Dec 08, 2011 12:02 am

silentnite wrote:Men Jokes
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
A man didn't come home 1 night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house. The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there!!


On the man side:
- All woman's friends are very sincere;
- All man's friends are very supportive.

On the woman side:
- All woman's friends are jealous;
- All man's friends are liars.

Help! I am lost!

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Re: Short funny Jokes

Postby 2BlueWalls » Fri Dec 09, 2011 1:10 am

chimlacloai wrote:
- All man's friends are very supportive.
- All man's friends are liars.

Help! I am lost!

chimlacloai


Man .. you are confusing me! who am I ?? Good or Evil :) :twisted:
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Re: Short funny Jokes

Postby silentnite » Sat Dec 10, 2011 1:06 am

School jokes5-12-2011

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students:
"The female dormitory is out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. The second time you will be fined $60. A third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
A male student inquired, "How much for a season pass?"
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Re: Short funny Jokes

Postby chimlacloai » Sat Dec 10, 2011 10:20 pm

silentnite wrote:School jokes5-12-2011

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students:
"The female dormitory is out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. The second time you will be fined $60. A third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
A male student inquired, "How much for a season pass?"


A voice from up high:
- 50% of all of your future income.

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Re: Short funny Jokes

Postby silentnite » Sun Dec 11, 2011 1:29 am

A beautiful, sexy, good looking lady was sitting next to a guy in a plane...... The lady said to him ' Can you help me remove something from my breast please? ‘The exciting young man replied, 'Wow! It will be my pleasure....... So what is it?' "Your Eyes, idiot!"
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Re: Short funny Jokes

Postby chimlacloai » Sun Dec 11, 2011 8:15 am

silentnite wrote:A beautiful, sexy, good looking lady was sitting next to a guy in a plane...... The lady said to him ' Can you help me remove something from my breast please? ‘The exciting young man replied, 'Wow! It will be my pleasure....... So what is it?' "Your Eyes, idiot!"


- How about the other? Should I take it away too?

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Re: Short funny Jokes

Postby 2BlueWalls » Mon Dec 12, 2011 8:03 pm

:lol: :lol: :mrgreen:
School-joke

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.

Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."

The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out. This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change.
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Re: Short funny Jokes

Postby chimlacloai » Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:21 pm

2BlueWalls wrote::lol: :lol: :mrgreen:
School-joke

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.

Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."

The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out. This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change.


Our Vietnam prime minister Nguyen tan Dung went to an exam to pass his MA in Law.
He attached to his test a piece of paper to his professor.

The professor opened it and found:
- A state letter assigned the professor as the Chairman of the National Law school - signed by the prime minister of the Cong Hoa Xa Hoi Vietnam...

Everybody knew the result of our prime minister test...

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